What NOT to say to a new mom

September 3, 2013

I didn’t remember the irritiating or awkward things people said to me when I was a new mom, until I came across this piece on The Stir about the 25 things not to say to a new mom about her baby. It’s hilarious, and I’m pretty sure we can relate to some of them. My best is 14. And 12.

Here are 25 things not to say to a new mom about her baby.

25. “Oh my god, he’s huge! What’d you eat while you were pregnant?”

24. “Aw. Too bad she’s bald. Everyone’s going to think she’s a boy.”

23. “Does she ever stop crying?

22. “He’s SO tiny. You sure he was ready to come out?”

21. “He looks just like a little alien.”

20. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

19. “She looks nothing like you. All your husband.”

18. “Ew, when is that belly button thing going to fall off?”

17. “Wow, he’s so … hairy.”

16. “Are those bumps all over her face normal?”

15. “Is that big mark on her face going to go away?”

14. “Ooh, you shouldn’t dress her in blue.”

13. “Newborns are never cute.”

12. “Oh.” [Pause.] “That’s so not what I imagined him to look like.”

11. “When do they start getting cute?”

10. “Geez. For something so small, he sure is loud.”

9. “Is that normal?”

8. “He doesn’t look like a happy baby.”

7. “She’s a little piggy, isn’t she?”

6. “Why is she all crusty?”

5. “But … you guys are good-looking.”

4. “Ew, I think he’s pooping!”

3. [After staring, slightly horrified] “I hope I wind up with a cute baby.”

2. “Eesh, he’s all red and wrinkly.”

1. “That child is deeply and profoundly ugly.”

 

Feature image via FreeDigitalImages

 

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