Like all moms, I carry mother-guilt, or rather mother-regret. I don’t feel “guilty” per se – it’s not like I think I’ve done things that have been “wrong”, like stealing or deliberately running over a bird (I couldn’t think of a better example here). Rather, there have been moments of regret, where I wish I would have done things a little differently. Like not going to one of my son’s cricket matches this year. Like not staying with my toddler one afternoon when she was sick.
There are things that could be filed in the unwritten book of Mom Guilt, but I’ve literally chucked them in the *&%#it bucket.
Here are just some of the things I won’t carry heavily nor feel bad about:
- Stopping breastfeeding at six months and 14 months respectively
- Letting the kids eat cupcakes for breakfast and cereal for supper
- Giving my son money for the tuckshop because I don’t feel like making anything
- Letting my son skip baths
- Letting my son play on his iPad
- Letting my son stay in his pyjamas if he wants to
- Giving my toddler spicy foods – she demands them in fact, and loves them!
- Bribed/incentivised/motivated (whichever way you want to look at it) my son to do things
- Told white lies to save me time and money, and to look after our security. For example, “The sushi restaurant is closed”, or “The park is closed right now”.
- Spending a few minutes in my car when I arrive home after work just to exhale (and scroll through Pinterest)
- Buying my kids toys or books because I couldn’t face the tantrums
- Eating all the contents from a party pack
- Not doing much cooking from scratch
- Putting on kids’ TV to get a short time out for myself
- Forgetting to pack the library book, PT socks, money for civvies day etc
- Outsourcing the baking/creation of my kids’ birthday cakes
- Leaving my kids to just be, and not fussing too much or getting worried about Every. Single. Thing.
What are the things on your guilt list, and what are the ones you’ve chosen to leave behind?