35 signs you were raised by a Jewish mother (one of the funniest posts ever)

May 13, 2013

This is a post I chuckled loud at, and it might not be something that everyone “gets”, but those who “get” it will LOL!

Thanks Buzzfeed

1. You know to always bring a jacket no matter what the temperature is.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

2. Meanwhile, she’s never a comfortable temperature. But she doesn’t want to burden anyone else.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

3. Oh, she’s having a hot flash. Can’t you see that she’s schvitzing?

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

4. You and your friends were always well fed.

You and your friends were always well fed.

5. She asks, “Are you eating?” every time you talk on the phone.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother
Source: papermag.com

6. But she’s not above telling you that you’ve put on weight.

But she’s not above telling you that you’ve put on weight.

7. Also she wants to know what you want to eat when you come home. In a month.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

8. She has the best recipe for brisket, all others be damned.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother
Source: giphy.com

9. You have a strong preference when it comes to savory or sweet kugel. (SWEET.)

You have a strong preference when it comes to savory or sweet kugel. (SWEET.)

10. You were forbidden from ever getting a tattoo. She still asks you about this.

You were forbidden from ever getting a tattoo. She still asks you about this.

11. She just wants you to know you’ll never get a job with a tattoo. Or with those clothes. Or with your hair like that.

She just wants you to know you’ll never get a job with a tattoo. Or with those clothes. Or with your hair like that.

12. She says she loves you no matter what your sexual orientation, just raise the children Jewish.

She says she loves you no matter what your sexual orientation, just raise the children Jewish.
Source: queerty.com

13. She’d prefer you marry a Jew, but if you don’t it’s not the end of the world. Just raise the children Jewish.

She'd prefer you marry a Jew, but if you don't it's not the end of the world. Just raise the children Jewish.
Source: zazzle.com

14. And what does he do? It doesn’t matter if he’s a doctor. It would just be nice, that’s all.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother
Source: sodahead.com

15. Every phone conversation is about how to meet a nice Jewish boy or girl.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

16. Every phone conversation is also about what you need to do with your life. (Never mind that you’re doing just fine.)

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

17. She will set you up with Ruth’s boy. You know Ruth? From the synagogue? She ushers on Friday nights.

She will set you up with Ruth's boy. You know Ruth? From the synagogue? She ushers on Friday nights.

18. Twenty years later, she’s still talking about your Bar or Bat Mitzvah on a regular basis.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

19. But only because she doesn’t have a wedding to talk about yet. HAVE YOU MET ANY NICE JEWISH BOYS OR GIRLS LATELY?

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

20. And she doesn’t have grandchildren to talk about yet either.

And she doesn't have grandchildren to talk about yet either.

21. If you tell your mom you’re sick, the entire family will know within the hour.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

22. You’re no stranger to frantic “are you ok?” texts

You're no stranger to frantic "are you ok?" texts

23. That’s if she’s figured out how to text. She’s not great with new technology.

That’s if she’s figured out how to text. She’s not great with new technology.

24. If you don’t call back immediately, you’re going to get guilt. She knows you’re busy, she just worries.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

25. She wants to know if what you’re doing is safe. If it’s not safe, she’ll kill you.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother
Source: sodahead.com

26. You come in wearing a vintage ripped T-shirt and she says, “What is this shmata?”

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

27. She reminds you how much your people have been through.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

28. She throws out Yiddish phrases like “baruch hashem” and “kein ayin hara” regardless of context.

She throws out Yiddish phrases like “baruch hashem” and “kein ayin hara” regardless of context.

29. She doesn’t need you to pick her up at the airport. She’ll take a taxi. Don’t worry. (Hint: You HAVE to pick her up.)

She doesn't need you to pick her up at the airport. She'll take a taxi. Don't worry. (Hint: You HAVE to pick her up.)

30. Now that you’ve picked her up you’re driving too fast.

Now that you’ve picked her up you’re driving too fast.

31. You know that anything bad you do is “killing your mother.” Or anything you do at all, really.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

32. You accept that she has the ultimate trump card in arguments: guilt.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

33. She reminds you that you better not put her in a bad nursing home.

She reminds you that you better not put her in a bad nursing home.

34. If you share this post with your mom, she’ll say, “But I’m not like this, right?” Just smile and nod.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother

35. She always tells you you can’t get mad at her for caring too much. And you can’t, really, because she’s the absolute best. Thanks, Mom.

35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother
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3 Comments

  • Claudz

    This is my MIL on many of them!

    May 14, 2013 at 12:22 pm Reply
  • Dewitt Dammeyer

    like reading the journal and think that the trip you are connected decide a very essential journey toward the well-being of others. Give thanks!

    August 20, 2013 at 9:18 am Reply
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