This is a hilarious guide to parenting from a “toddler” (it’s actually parenting writer Bunmi Laditan who has immersed herself so brilliantly and accurately into the head of a toddler).
This is a Very Funny Book, and I can’t recommend it enough for your own bookshelf or that of a friend. There’s never a dull moment with all the tips, dialogues, quizzes, checklists and advice, and even if you think you’ve read everything from HT on Twitter, you haven’t – there are plenty of surprises and new stuff.
Here are some of my gems:
Few things make toddlers more uncomfortable than parental relaxation. Do firemen nap? No. Do police nap? No. Just like these heroes, you have a responsibility to be on at all times. Naps are for infants and dogs.
At any time, your toddler may need a piece of white bread. If he catches you sleeping, the only appropriate response will be for him to manually open your eyes, forcing your spirit to return to your body. Do not act surprised or irritated. You were not the one left to fend for yourself.
Reasons You Should Always Invite Your Toddler to Shower Time
Showering alone wastes water. Do you love or hate the earth? It’s a simple question; don’t dance around it.
If you hurt yourself, you’ll have a witness. While your toddler will be unable/unwilling to help, at least you’ll have someone who can point to your naked, sprawled-out body and look bewildered.
Showering with toddlers is relaxing.
Showers are a wonderful place to chitchat about life and love while eating pretzel sticks.
Steam is great for your toddler’s confidence.
Just because many of your friends claim to shower alone doesn’t mean you have to. It’s important to have friends with the same values, so drop the ones who take solo showers. They’re not worth it.
The Honest Toddler: A Child’s Guide to Parenting is published by Orion (Jonathan Ball) and is available for around R135 from bookstores, and for around R120 on The Book Depository.