This is where my heart is going first this Valentine’s Day, plus win Cadbury hampers!

February 3, 2020

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No, it’s not my husband. Nor is it my kids. It’s me. My heart is going to me this month. I’m so short of some self-loving that I’m slow to forgive myself when I make small mistakes. Each time time I see myself in a picture I see lots of faults, and when someone tries to compliment me or give me good feedback, I laugh it off.

February is the month of love, and I’m putting myself at the top of recipient love list. I’m needing to be a little kinder, and to put all my heart into it, literally. I’m a much better mom and wife when I love myself a little more, and if there was ever a time to kick off some self-love resolutions, then February is it.

“Share Your Heart” is the theme of Cadbury’s new campaign. You might have seen their incredible Pop-Out Heart slabs in Original and Dream. These limited-edition slabs have a cute pop-out heart, which you can eat yourself (yes please!) or give to someone else. They’re available now, and they’re limited edition, so make sure you get some before they’re off shelves (I’ve already bought a whole lot to give to my running group for Valentine’s Day).

In the exercise of giving myself some heart, this is what’s on my list of self-love must-dos. I hope that if you’re also feeling like you’re in a self-love slump, and want to be gentler on yourself, you’ll show yourself some heart (even some serotonin-boosting chocolate will do).

  1. Start each day by telling myself something positive. For example, “You’re running so strong”, “You’re a good mom”, “You’re looking healthy”.
  2. Look in the mirror and try to understand that what I see is probably a lot harsher than what others see.
  3. Same with my body. Instead of focusing on the flaws, focus on my health, and my strong legs that run a fair amount of kilometres.
  4. Not believing all the bad things I think about myself.
  5. Speak to myself as kindly as I speak to my kids when they make a mistake. So instead of berating myself, I will encourage myself to keep trying, and do better next time.
  6. Stop comparing myself to others. It’s not fair. I always say you can’t compare apples to oranges, so why should I pit myself against others?
  7. Unless I really have to, if I’m not loving doing something, I’m giving it the boot.
  8. Try to believe compliments and good feedback.
  9. Watch more movies! This is such a pleasure for me – when I’m in the cinema, I switch off, and it’s one of those times I get to relax.
  10. Carrying on trying to say no… it doesn’t mean that I can’t manage more things when I say no. Rather, it just means that I care more about my time, and that I use my capacity where it’s best needed/wanted.
  11. Have the occasional G&T/chocolate/pizza without feeling guilty (this is important, right?)

To win!

Cadbury is giving away four chocolate hampers, plus one Valentine’s experience worth R2 000 (sounds intriguing and awesome, I know!).

To enter, just comment below, and mention how you give some love to yourself. This giveaway closes on Friday 7 February 2020 at 11am. The winners will be announced on the Rattle and Mum Facebook page, and then emailed.

For more info about the Cadbury Dairy Milk Pop-Out Heart, go to www.cadbury.co.za,  @CadburyDairyMilkSA on Facebook, and @Cadbury_SA on Twitter as well as on Instagram. #ShareYourHeart #GlassAndAHalf

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57 Comments

  • Jestine Titus

    I would love to win this!!!
    I will start talking myself, you are worthy, you are blessed, you are more than enough for the kids, you doing a great job, breathe, you are beautiful. I am a stay at home mom, living on one salary, and had a surprise pregnancy. Shocked when we found out at 6 months. Now with 3 kid’s and 1 income, the days can be stressful. But I need to start being more positive now! I am enough 💝

    February 3, 2020 at 6:12 am Reply
    • Gabi

      Be kind to yourself and love everything about yourself

      February 3, 2020 at 7:57 am Reply
  • Anne

    Being a mum to a 1 year old and 3 year old can be mentally and physically challenging. I found that if I don’t find the time to give myself some love and attention, it ultimately affects my relationship with everyone around me. So I started going for massages once a month and starting dating myself where I would go for a lunch alone. I don’t have too much of free time but I take 30 minutes each week just to give myself some alone time to recover.

    February 3, 2020 at 6:14 am Reply
  • Sara

    I make myself a cup of coffee and relax while watching my favourite soapie.

    February 3, 2020 at 6:32 am Reply
    • Adele

      I’ve been really bad with self love, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that “you cant pour from an empty cup”… so now I try to make some time for myself, waking up a little earlier to enjoy a cup of coffee before the craziness, staying up a little later and watching a serious I enjoy and have taped and every now and then spoiling myself with something new to wear!

      February 4, 2020 at 7:15 pm Reply
  • Kim Muller

    I’ve been really bad at giving myself love but I’ve vowed to start in 2020. I’ve started reading paperbacks again, taking time out from the kids for myself. I wake up a few minutes before the kids and enjoy a cuppa before they wake up and use those minutes of silence to reflect and list all the things I am grateful for.

    February 3, 2020 at 6:39 am Reply
  • Natalie Jodamus

    By buying myself my fave chocolate and eating it alone, hiding it from the kids and not feeling an ounce of guilt.

    February 3, 2020 at 6:44 am Reply
  • Nirvana

    Would love to win this amazing giveaway – a very special treat indeed 🤞

    I try to do simple, small things eg. Sitting down for 5 minutes to enjoy my morning coffee, making time for prayer and to reflect. I also try meditation which is very calming and helps keep me sane 😄

    February 3, 2020 at 6:52 am Reply
  • ragmat baron

    I give love to myself by always trying my utmost to spoil myself with a spa treatment and a day at the movies every 3 months

    February 3, 2020 at 7:03 am Reply
  • Laura Sher

    How awesome it would be to win this. The reason being that I stopped eating chocs. Now I feel it would really be the best treat. I am not going to stop being kind to all and especially my family but it is time I cared as much of myself as I do for everyone else. This would be my incentive to start this whole #selfllove vibe. It would be the best reward. ❤️

    February 3, 2020 at 7:03 am Reply
  • Lindi Dewing

    Having a bit of “me” time! Life can get hectic with a 4 year old + 2 year old twins.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:22 am Reply
  • Charne Parsons

    This would be an awesome win. With a busy 2 year old son, my way of showing myself some love is by taking 10 minutes for myself to take a lovely bath. It’s tough being a SAHM and trying to find some time for yourself as our family always comes first.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:23 am Reply
  • Tanya Nel

    I take more time out and just sleep or read alone. Need allot of rest with my current health and making sure I do that so that I can carry on.
    please enter me into the draw

    February 3, 2020 at 7:35 am Reply
  • Heather

    Exactly what I needed to read right now thank you Tanya!

    February 3, 2020 at 7:36 am Reply
  • Dawn Wallenkamp

    I give love to myself by taking a good book, a hot cup of tea and going into the garden to sit under a shady tree and read.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:37 am Reply
  • Gloria Strydom

    Giving love to yourself is so important, I do this by making sure I get at least an hour to myself to read, or bake something or to just watch something on catch up.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:38 am Reply
  • Linda

    I go for a massage once a month and try not to feel guilty about it! I also have a whatsapp group of awesome women that started out as a group where we would express our gratitude about things in our life but has become so much more. They are my safe space.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:40 am Reply
  • Jessica Etzel

    Being a first time mom it is very difficult to find the time to give love to myself, but I do make sure that I take time out from feeding, changing, bathing, cleaning, etc, to just sit and do absolutely nothing and thank God for all my blessings.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:40 am Reply
  • Jaunita Pillay

    In a world where everything is so rushed I feel it’s important to make time for yourself so that’s what I do. I enjoy my own company and I most enjoy going to the beach and watching the waves.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:45 am Reply
  • Nasika Baijnath

    I give some love to myself by reminding myself why I am important, how loved and appreciated I am. I do yoga and journaling started being thankful for everything I have.

    February 3, 2020 at 7:45 am Reply
  • Elmaree Fisher

    Being a mom 2 a very buzy 2 year old I give self love by making some time for myself reading a book or just relaxing

    February 3, 2020 at 7:55 am Reply
  • Dina

    My self-love practices include meeting my mom/sister/friend for a lunch or coffee date, reading and the very occasional massage.. my best!

    February 3, 2020 at 8:26 am Reply
  • Toanette Heins

    I try to stop the comparisons. There is no one on this planet like me and my family, so I try to not fairly compare meself to someone else. The only person I try to compare myself to is, me and my famliy! Our son is on the autism spectrum, so we will never be able to keep up with the Joneses…

    February 3, 2020 at 8:28 am Reply
  • Judith Bougardt

    I give love to myself by having me time.Im a mom of two busy kids and hardly have time for myself.I occasionally have long hot baths when the kids are asleep,read a book,do my nails and at times I’ll enjoy a Cadbury slab without sharing💖

    February 3, 2020 at 8:53 am Reply
  • Jetaime

    Firstly I pray, reminding myself that I am a phenomenal woman created by the most High. Godly love is all the love one needs to love oneself ❤️

    February 3, 2020 at 9:00 am Reply
  • Ziona

    How I give love to myself is a time our with a book, some tea and treats.

    February 3, 2020 at 9:18 am Reply
  • Bronwyn

    Tell the family I am going grocery shopping, then just walk around in the mall, looking at things in shops that I would normally have to bypass if I had the kids with me…..

    February 3, 2020 at 10:20 am Reply
  • Paula

    My husband and I chill out watching our latest favourite series (which sometimes involves sharing a slab of our favourite chocolate!) 🙂

    February 3, 2020 at 11:35 am Reply
  • Sanet Odendaal

    My self-love has been dependent on the approval of others for far too long. I agree with you that we need to look into the mirror with kinder eyes. I’m 51 but have good skin. I have cellulite but my hands can play the piano and violin. I have a (rather large) squishy tummy but my kids love using it as a cushion… And so on. Also, I have suddenly realized that I don’t have endless time left to accomplish my goals… The time is now.

    February 3, 2020 at 12:46 pm Reply
  • Rene

    By realising that I’m not my children or husband’s slave and that they are fully capable of doing some things themselves. And also on Sundays I close the bedroom door and take an afternoon nap.

    February 3, 2020 at 1:52 pm Reply
  • Jordan

    I’d really love to win this!

    I’m a mom to a very busy little boy and hardly ever get time just for myself. Relaxing with a cup of coffee and some Netflix after my son is asleep is as good as it gets but I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂

    February 3, 2020 at 4:49 pm Reply
  • Irene Jordaan

    This last year has been really tough… my husband has been struggling with job loss and depression. I have put myself last in order to take care of our 2 beautiful children. It has been HARD. So hard. But the new year brought a new job. And medication to treat the depression. And I can almost start thinking about myself again.
    The best thing about this whole experience was all the people around us who stood by us and helped us to keep our heads above water…
    And they all did it without being asked. I AM SO BLESSED!!
    I don’t always have to look after myself and I am allowing myself to feel all my feelings, good and bad. And I know that there is an army of people in my corner. I want for nothing. X

    February 3, 2020 at 6:25 pm Reply
  • Linda Laing

    I give myself some love by indulging in a huge glass of gin and tonic with a slab of cadbury by my side and a good book that i cant put down!!

    February 3, 2020 at 7:10 pm Reply
  • Stephanie

    I at 40 have finally appreciated my body and love the fact is given me the gift of 2 kids, i think by just accepting my self as iam is how i give my self love

    February 3, 2020 at 10:39 pm Reply
  • Chad

    I take time out to relax and be by myself focus on me and spoil myself. Either I read it play video games.

    February 4, 2020 at 3:32 am Reply
  • Kubashnie Sheik Amod

    Wow, this is an excellent hamper to indulge in and spoil myself.

    Every morning I wake up knowing that I am still here and alive to see another sunrise. Saved by grace and for a purpose, Im a proud mommy to my 2 little girls aged 5 years and 3 months. I remind myself that I am blessed, highly favored and set apart for greatness because Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. I am Confident in knowing who I belong to that is Christ Jesus that makes me unmovable, unshakable and unstopable. There is only 1 of me in this world and there can never be another me so make it worth it Kubashnie. Life is good when you have Faith and Joy, for Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains and the Joy of thr Lord is my strength so I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (By the way, my girls names are Faith and Joy).

    LOL I’m not preaching, but this is what keeps me motivated and going each day. Have a blessed day.

    February 4, 2020 at 4:03 am Reply
  • Lyn

    Time out to just relax and read while kids are at gran

    February 4, 2020 at 8:29 am Reply
  • Karabo Nkoe

    Lost my husband on my birthday back in November, I went through a really dark phase (honestly still am but I’ve slowly learned to move forward with the grief), found out I was pregnant with twins and since that moment, I’ve been learning to love myself enough to take care of myself both mentally and physically instead of staying in bed the whole day.

    Pampering myself and having impromptu spa runs (and therapy) are how I give myself love.

    February 4, 2020 at 10:45 am Reply
  • Stacey

    As a mom of 4 who has had numerous health issues, I often told myself that I didnt have time or money to spend on myself. This year I have scheduled 30 minutes everyday for exercise to start getting my body back into shape, and I have started buying a few healthy foods for myself that I know the rest of the family won’t enjoy, and not feeling guilty about spending that money on myself.

    February 5, 2020 at 7:32 am Reply
  • Shanal

    I am a stay at home who rarely gets time for myself, life can be pretty hectic with 2 boys and also living away from family and no1 to babysit the kids.Once in 2 weeks i go enjoy a movie on my own while hubby keeps the kids.Thereafter i go for coffee and cake. #SelfLove

    February 6, 2020 at 8:55 am Reply
  • Leandra Du Toit

    Always be kind to yourself and treat yourself to that chocolate whenever you feel like it, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise 🙂

    February 6, 2020 at 8:56 am Reply
  • Shanal

    I give myself some love by telling myself daily that im the best mom and i motivate myself try and accomplish whatever I put my mind to

    February 6, 2020 at 8:58 am Reply
  • Shanal

    I love myself by enjoying a cup of coffee while my 3 boys are gone to bed.Whether its over a book or the cooking channel i feel time alone is always fruitful.

    February 6, 2020 at 8:59 am Reply
  • Shanal

    Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are.

    February 6, 2020 at 9:02 am Reply
  • Shanal

    By Ending all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.

    February 6, 2020 at 9:03 am Reply
  • Shanal

    Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved💗🎉🎉🎉

    February 6, 2020 at 9:03 am Reply
  • Anthea Williams

    By having some me time, whether its a long relaxing bath or cuddled up reading my favourite books while stuffing my face with luxuries.
    Its important, especially for Moms to make time for themselves.

    February 6, 2020 at 10:49 pm Reply
  • Kelly

    Take some time out for being you. Love the person you are

    February 7, 2020 at 3:34 am Reply
  • Storm Strang

    A bubble bath, relaxing music and time it myself. Actually being alone with no kids or husband bothering me. Yes that’s it the best self love ❤️❤️

    February 7, 2020 at 4:15 am Reply
  • Mandy Mhlongo

    Love everything about myself , for once be selfish about myself ♡♡♡

    February 7, 2020 at 6:16 am Reply
  • Barendina Bals

    I love to take a day to myself to just relax at the spa and being pampered, drink lots of water daily, take care of my skin and go for long hikes over the weekends! ♥♥♥

    February 7, 2020 at 6:37 am Reply
  • Jessie Mckay

    I go for long walks on my own and have designated reading time each week. I spoil myself with luxurious bath products and just soak in silence. I try journal every day and make sure to exercise for at least 20 minutes and have little notes and reminders that “I am enough” every where. It’s hard to love yourself sometimes but I work on it daily.

    February 7, 2020 at 8:27 am Reply
  • Verusha Maharaj

    I have a secret stash of my favorite chocolates hidden away. Whenever I’m down and out, exhausted or just need a pick me up… I go to my stash.. Chocolate is my best friend.. Always helps me give myself that special indulgence I need from time to time. 😊

    February 7, 2020 at 8:30 am Reply
  • Sonia

    I will Soak my feet in my luke warm water with some bath salts. When im done i put it up and relax with cup of tea

    February 8, 2020 at 5:15 am Reply
  • Farzeen Ebrahim

    Well,I get up,I have a lovely hot shower, I put on make up and a lovely outfit to make me look and feel good. Feeling positive already,I surprise myself with new ideas and voice my opinions at work.I buy myself lovely perfume and budget for healthy snacks and treats.I love myself! Trust me ladies..invest in yourself…it’s worth it…for you and your family.

    February 9, 2020 at 6:52 pm Reply
  • Bianca

    On the weekends , when the kids have their morning naps, I get back into Pjs and have my own little nap, I look forward to it 😊

    February 9, 2020 at 7:25 pm Reply
  • Samantha

    Going to have manicures and pedis are my best self spoil and then of course comfort foods which include Chocolate and vanilla ice-cream

    February 10, 2020 at 9:15 am Reply
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