This is hilarious, and I’m sure I’ve been guilty of all some of them. Via babble.com

1. My child is a great sleeper
Translation: My child is a great sleeper right now.

2. My child never has tantrums in public
Translation: My child has a compliant personality and is generally mild mannered, so she rarely acts up in public.

3. You look great!
Translation: You look different than the last time I saw you.

4. I’m sending my kid to school to socialize them
Translation: I’m excited to have some kid-free time!

5. Life is just crazy busy
Translation: I’m a little (or a lot) overwhelmed with life right now.